There are many topics in Chapters 9 and 10 that haven't been offered as options on the blog. Some of these include: divorce, alternative relationship lifestyles, intimate partner violence, loneliness, among many others.
If you choose to complete this assignment for course credit, you can choose any topic from Chapter 9 or Chapter 10 and do a little searching of your own that is catered to your interest. You can post a video, news article, etc. and tell me how it relates to the chapter. Please provide a link to your article, video, etc. Be creative!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wALbxbEBLU0
ReplyDeleteThis video about divorce shows that Cal's divorce is devastating him and his coworkers are taking it lightly. Crazy, Stupid, Love is a perfect example of how divorce goes. Affecting one's psychological and physical well-being is huge and is showcased in this film. Preoccupation with an ex-spouse is associated with poorer adjustment to divorce and both Cal and his ex-wife are devastated by the split while preoccupied with each other and how they're moving on. Having social friendships is key to getting through this rough time and Cal seems to have no one until he meets Jacob who helps him get through the break up.
Crazy, Stupid, Love also does a great job of showing what the children go through during a divorce. Their son goes through a period of not believing in love anymore because his parents are splitting up.
Overall, I believe Crazy, Stupid, Love is a great film that shows the aspects of a divorce perfectly.
Great job incorporating some of the negatives of divorce!
Deletehttp://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200212/the-power-love
ReplyDeleteThis article about love was both insightful and reinforcing for me. It talked about the difference of limerance which is comparable to passion we discussed in class to actual love saying love lasts much longer and can come after limerance but not necessarily. love is a feeling of deep connectivity, trust and communication while the other is more of the intense lustful attraction.
most of the article disused the relation between love and depression stating love is an actual need and as critical to your body as oxygen, and how the less love we have in our lives the more depression we will cultivate which expresses itself in narcissistic behaviors further separating yourself from love. I have seen these cycles in my own life and found myself at my happiest when full of warm loving relationships and the most down with the lack there of. I feel everyone should read this so we can all get the love flowing and understand if a person is coming off as cold we should do our part of warming them up understanding. Love, passion, narcissism, depression.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201210/why-domestic-violence-occurs-and-how-stop-it
ReplyDeleteThis new article discussed the prevalence of domestic violence. In a survey that was administered by 8 out of 10 domestic shelters, an increase in women seeking help was reported. The article discussed how this could be linked to the uncertain economy and a decrease in prevention programs. Two major statistics highlighted by the article was that 74% of women are now staying with abusive men longer for economic reasons and 58% of shelter reported that the abuse is more violent than it was before the economic downturn. The article discussed the inner voice and the difference in that between men and women. Because we still do live in a patriarchal society, men feel the need to control their women. When they cannot do so, sometimes the result is a lash out in anger. Men and women that are abused more as a child are more likely to be perpetrators of domestic assault. The article highlights that past abuse is no excuse for violence because we all “choose who we want to be in our relationships.” There is help available for both perpetrators and victims.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201310/amy-alkon/eternal-curves
ReplyDeleteThis article discusses the beauty of a curvy woman. Men on average spend $3 billion a year to gaze at women who have hourglass figures, those who have small waist and curvy hips. Studies have shown that men prefer women who have a waist size that is 60 to 70 percent of their waist size. Curvier women show signs of being more fertile and the ability to give birth more easily that those who have no hips. To women this may not seem like the ideal body shape but we don't see what men do. Men tend to prefer the hourglass figure for various reasons that one may never understand. The legs carry about 1/3 of the fat on a woman's body. A recent study suggested that men admired that fat and preferred women who had larger legs and hips. Women tend to carry a larger supply of DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) which is an omega 3 fat found in the fat that women carry in their legs and hips. A newborn needs a lot of DNA for their rapid growing brain. DHA helps make the brain work better and ultimately can lead to smarter children. While these statement has little research value, to this day men still prefer the curvier woman.
I think this article correlates to the video we watched on Tuesday about what makes females and males attractive. They discussed how the curves on a woman are very attractive and show maturity. I found this article to be really interesting because I am currently in an English class where our main discussion topic is body image. We have discussed all the highs and lows of the image of women and how hips are portrayed in today's society so this article demonstrated some very prevalent points that I had not heard of before.
Great job making the connection to the documentary!
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEzUd8IymcE
ReplyDeleteThe video I chose is all about online dating. It deals with why internet dating can be dangerous. In the video, women meet men online and then end up getting hurt. Unfortunately, dating online can cause dangerous side effects. Some women have had there cars stolen as well as being sexually assaulted. Furthermore, more people lie then tell the truth about them. It's so easy to lie about your age, job and appearance online, because its so hard to verify. Women will meet there date and will look completely different. However, internet dating is the third most successful way to meet your spouse, so we can see why it is so tempting. It also becomes difficult because body language and emotions can not be portrayed over the internet. It is hard to really get to know a person over an internet dating website. This video relates to the chapter on love and relationships. Although this style of dating may not always be successful, it is still a very widely used form.
This video talks about stages in marriages. There are five stages every couple can go to; content, confusion, struggling, miserable, and the point of no return. Every married couple starts off content and dont want to think that it will ever end. It starts with little fights that end after a few days. Husbands tend to not know what women want emotionally. They want them to help around the house but have trouble communicating what they need emotionally like support and understanding. She tries to get her husbands attention but as it fails she falls to struggling. She turns to friends and other ways to meet her emotional needs. The couple avoids topics that lead to explosive arguments. The husband thinks by avoiding it everything will just work out. Once the wife gets to point of no return she announces she wants a divorce and the husband goes into panic mode. His motives are mostly out of desperation and not love though. He has no idea his wife has been falling down these steps. The wife thinks after divorce things will be fine and it is a new hope. Wives can be cruel and inconsistent. One day she blames her self the next day she hates her husband and blames him for everything. Wives can hit the snap line in the point of no return where they feel nothing for their husband but their childrens father.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBNsgrhr1vs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cpk_6h19fgI
ReplyDeleteThis video is really interesting and branches off what we talked about in class last week about the science behind what men find attractive. Researchers surveyed more than 20 men and just had them point to a body type they found most attractive; not surprisingly, almost all chose the photo of the woman whose waist-to-hip-ratio was a .7, as we talked about in class. It also discussed WHY men are engineered to find this most attractive--it's because women with this ratio are genetically engineered to be more likely to have babies and find it easier to get pregnant. This ratio, as well as body shape in general, is controlled by the sex hormones from puberty. Psychologically and physiologically, we are designed to find that attractive in someone. This video is a synapsis of a longer documentary.
This area of research is very interesting!
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1yW5IsnSjo
ReplyDeleteThis video is a ted talk by a domestic violence victim Leslie Morgan Steiner. She refers to domestic violence as crazy love. She talked about how she really thought this man was the love of her life and she loved him so much. She discussed some of the stages of domestic violence and why so many women do not leave. The first stage she talked about was the seducing of the victim. Her abuser, Connor, would want to know everything about her. He would tell her how smart she was and that he believed in her as a writer an then he was able to form that bond of trust between them. The second stage was the isolation of the victim. Connor quit his job and moved out of the city away from everybody. The third stage was to introduce the threat of violence and see how the victim responds to it. The way that Connor did this was to buy three guns and place them around the house and in the car. Leslie talks about how she really did not think that she was being abused. She constantly thought about how she was such a strong woman and that he was the troubled one who needed her to help him. She said that often times women do not leave because it is too dangerous. The man could stalk her or even kill her after she speaks up. Leslie finally got out because she told everybody and is now happily remarried with three kids living a normal loving life.
This topic relates to our discussion of intimate relationships and love.
Sounds like a Talk I should check out...very much related to what we'll be discussing in class this week in the application portion of the chapter!
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=493lAJo3xx4
ReplyDeleteThis video is of a man explaining how to deal with loneliness, overcome loneliness, cope with loneliness, and tips on loneliness. Loneliness is not just being in a relationship, or being loved. The only thing that causes loneliness is our thoughts. There is one major thoughts for single and relationship people. Single people believe that being in a relationship will make a person happier and life more fulfilling. Having this fantasy of what we think will make us happy creates a loneliness feeling. Thoughts about ourselves, our situations, and our future give us a lack of happiness. Yet, being in a relationship does not fulfill all of these components. So improving those thoughts will help your loneliness. If our loneliness occurs during a relationship, then we look to blame it on something or someone. Whether it is on your partner spending too much time at work, or less intimacy within the relationship. We create stories in our head about what is the perfect relationship. When the stories don’t fit together with our real life, then we feel the sense of loneliness. Loosing judgments on what you do and what your partner does will reduce loneliness feelings. If you lack those judgments, then love is what remains. We always think that others will improve our relationships, but we need to focus on ourselves thoughts and emotions.
Great points - how we appraise, or think about, the situation we are in definitely plays a big role in adjustment!
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc5KN5tYDXc
ReplyDeleteOur existence is a lonely one. We make connections and friends and loved ones throughout our life but, at the end of the day we are all alone. How could anyone ever understand what makes you, there are no words, no expressions, no form of communication that can describe your soul to another. We make attempts to do define ourselves to others; through conversations, pictures, and music we outline our interests in thoughts in ways that can be understood by others. But as we describe our thoughts, feelings, and emotions to others we ultimately leave something behind. We are alone in our thoughts, by ourselves, and thus ultimately we are alone. As in all things, everyone is different in how they cope with feelings of loneliness. Some might feel loneliness as it visits them on cold winter days or gloomy rainy days when human contact is nonexistent they are alone with the thoughts in their heads. For others, loneliness is a constant companion following in their footsteps like a puppy. Feelings of loneliness are expressed and engulf them from the moment the awake in the mornings to the time they fall asleep at night. I chose this clip from the Simpsons not only because it always makes me laugh, but demonstrates a the fear of social rejection and what it means to be lonely.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvCdCvyM1j4
ReplyDeleteThis video segment is from Talk It Up TV and features kids talking about love. They are asked many questions about love, such as favorite pickup lines and how do someone likes you. The kids determined that love is when people hug, kiss, and go on dates. All of them agreed that kissing is gross and shouldn’t happen, but it is an inevitable way to show affection when you love someone. The kids stated that the funny children in class attract more attention; therefore more people tend to like them. Humor is known to be an important trait in a romantic partner. Obviously children don’t look for mates like adults do, but chasing on the playground seemed to be a key factoring in determining if a boy/girl likes another person. Kids could definitely look at desirable personality characteristics, such as humor and warmth, when finding a crush at school. This sweet little segment is a good reminder how innocent and precious love can be.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElJxUVJ8blw
This video caught my attention right away when I was scrolling through YouTube. The reason is that as Jackson Katz starts out by saying many people think as domestic violence as a women’s issue and here is a man voicing the opposition to that. He begins by bringing it back to the perpetrator instead of asking why women are allowing themselves to be abused he focuses on why the men are abusing women, children, or other men. He goes on to state that women should not be the only ones standing up against this issue. Men should be going and helping stand up for women against abuse whether women they know have been victimized or maybe they themselves have been victimized by other men. Related to that he talks about the bystander approach which he goes on to explain is when a man hears another man make a sexist or abusive joke against women that man should stand up to the other and say it isn’t right. With that attitude all those who spread hateful language could possibly be taught something or maybe bring them down a step to help them learn because one person was willing to stand up and say that wasn’t right. He then admits that it is easy to say they will stand up but actually doing it is extremely difficult. Adult men with power need to be the people to stand up first as they have the most ability to do so. I really liked this video because it is a viewpoint that not many people take.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gnijk4E_BVs
ReplyDeleteThis YouTube video is called I know you – loneliness is not a feeling, it’s a journey. This video is an example of a life of loneliness. This video relates to chapter 9 because it talks about the different correlations of loneliness. This story is very touching because it makes you realize how someone goes through with this issue. It talks about how depression and other mental health problems that go along with loneliness. It also talks about how you don’t want to go out with your ‘friends’ because, first, they are not your ‘friends’ and second, you don’t believe that social gatherings are fun. It also talks about negative self-talk. This may not tie in directly with relationships but it is a very touching story.
You make mention of the correlates of loneliness, but try to be more descriptive. What, exactly, is correlated with loneliness?
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPwd4DbDp38
ReplyDeleteThis video is a little different than an educational video about what being a true friend means. Instead of just listing different qualities all plain Jane about friendship, the two boys who made this video made them into real situations such as telling you when you look bad and sharing a bed because true friends don’t care about things like that. It also shows how good friends can make you feel better about yourself when you’re feeling down. They complement you and they aren’t false compliments either. There are six rules of friendship according to the book and they are: 1. Share news of success with a friend, 2. Show emotional support, 3. Volunteer help in time of need, 4. Strive to make a friend happy when in each other’s company, 5. Trust and confide in each other, and 6. Stand up for a friend in his or her absence. The two guys in this video showed most of those qualities and in real situations like going out with a girl and what outfit you should wear or what you should do if you have company over. They give examples of what a bad friend would do, which is mainly be selfish. They are also at a good age to understand the true nature of friendship. Sometimes it takes a while to find your true friends and I didn’t find mine until I was in college and they meet all of those six rules of friendship.
I wouldn't necessarily say they are "rules" - but they are certainly characteristics of friendship!
Deletehttp://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201112/the-impact-divorce-young-children-and-adolescents
ReplyDeleteThis article examines the effects of divorce on young children and adolescents. For young children, divorce shakes their sense of dependency on their parents. It completely divides what that child(ren) was able to count on for stability. At the young ages, it is so important for them to be able to have a safe, reliable zone, and now that is shattered. It also may be hard to describe that the divorce is permanent. Children are not used to looking and planning ahead. This concept of not changing down the road is difficult for them to grasp. Anxiety, crying, bedwetting along with other premature behaviors are a few effects that may be present in young children. Fears may arise such as Will my parents stop loving me?
I find it so sad when people get divorced and the children have to suffer. Depending on the ages of the shared children greatly influence any future, permanent problems. Some will not show up until the child is in their own marriage or have their own children.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBdYfP_ubS8
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvNbUnB0438
I posted two links because they both talk about the same story.
These videos are of an elephant named Bubbles and a dog named Bella who are a very unusual pair. They are inseparable best friends that hangout and play all day at the Myrtle Beach Safari in South Carolina. This is an odd an unlikely friendship but they almost seem dependent of each other now.
Be more specific about how this video ties into course content.
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3R8CvJ8390
ReplyDeleteThe boy in this video covers six types of loneliness and how he went through them/they affected him. The six types of loneliness he discusses are: interpersonal, social, cultural, intellectual, psychological, and existential/cosmic loneliness. I feel as though everyone has experienced one of these at some/multiple points in their life. It's just as interesting litter video from somebody who dealt with loneliness first hand.
Describe these types of loneliness in more detail - assume your reader doesn't know what you are talking about!
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1yW5IsnSjo
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence doesn’t have just one face. It affects people of all ages, races, social ranks, economic levels, and sexes. Whenever I hear about relationship violence I always wonder why he or she doesn’t leave their abuser. What could be so hard about leaving someone who hurts you so bad? In this talk Leslie Morgan Steiner discusses this topic and tells her own life story about her violent relationship. The man she thought was “the one” would hold a gun to her head and threaten her all the time, but she still stayed with him. In the video she discusses some of the stages of domestic abuse. The first stage is the charming stage. This man that hurt her started out as a sensitive man who loved everything about her and was always complimenting her. The next stage is isolation/abuse. In this stage the abusers start to control who you talk to, where you live, what you do, where you go, how you do things. They want to control every aspect of your life. The third stage is introducing the threat of violence. Then the actual violence occurs. Most victims think of each attack as an isolated incident. They think that the abuser will stop after that time and they’ll be happy again or that they can change or help the abuser. I had never really considered how dangerous it would be to leave an abuser but in the video it was stated that 70% of domestic violence murders happen once the victim leaves the abuser. That’s an incredibly scary statistic to me. I feel that if more people knew the signs of an abusive relationship there could be less domestic abuse.