Many of you have expressed interest in and enjoyment of TED Talks videos. Should you choose to complete this assignment, please do the following:
- Find a TED Talk video associated with either Chapter 9 or 10. They both cover similar topics, specifically relationships. I advise you just search the term "relationships" and you should have a nice variety to choose from.
- Summarize the content of the video.
- Provide your reaction.
- Be sure to link it to course material.
The TED talk I listened to was called “What you don’t Know About Marriage” given by Jenna McCarthy. She was a very interesting speaker. At first it seemed like she was completely marriage and made fun of it, but as it went on, everything changed. In the beginning, she talked about what it is like to be married in a very cynical way. She did talk about the statistic of the 50% of married couples will be divorced. This talk was given in 2012, so I know that this statistic has changed. Success stories are in the happiest marriages is that women are fitter and better looking than the husband. Another aspect of success in a marriage is that the people focus on the positives in just about every situation. Also, the more willing a man is to do house work, the more attractive a man is his wife. This will lead to more sex, the more sex they have the happier they are and this also causes the man to want to do more house work. A weird study was also done on how happy you looked in childhood pictures; they are less likely to get divorced. Also, do not win an Emmy for best actress, because you will get divorced. Another finding was that after we watch a chick flick, we notice issues that we have and the things we do not have that we want. One of the statistics I found most interesting was that if you have friends that are getting a divorce, then you are 75% more likely to also get a divorce. It is always interesting to see how different relationships work out in the end.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great Ted Talk, and I actually planned on showing it in class. Hopefully when watching it for a second time you'll be able to hear some things you missed the first time!
DeleteThe TED Talks I viewed was “Fifty Shades of Gay.” It was an interesting discussion on the relationships that we have within our lives. The speaker offers a unique perspective on the ‘boxes’ we place people in as soon as we meet them, placing them in neat categories within our mind. The speaker was a woman, who for several years of her life worked as a male child actor. I found this to be an interesting take on not only homosexual lifestyles (as well as another TED talks video I viewed “The Myth of the Gay Agenda) but for heterosexual ones as well. The lines between homosexuality and heterosexuality are beginning to blur, I feel, in our current society. The ‘boxes’ that we make so black and white are beginning to gray, as the title explains in Fifty Shades of Gay. Not only are the boxes beginning to bleed together but there are so many factors of one individual that it is impossible to truly place one in just one box, the personalities are so nuanced. I feel that this ties in nicely with our chapter on relationships, as it explores the ideas of creating and defining relationships.
ReplyDeleteFifty Shades of Gray
http://on.ted.com/shadesofgay
The Myth of the Gay Agenda
http://on.ted.com/Granderson
http://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship.html
ReplyDeleteI watched this TED Talk by Esther Perel, which is about desire in a long term relationship. The information that Esther gives in this talk relates to the course material in the first section of chapter ten, where the author discusses social trends that are shaking up the traditional model of marriage. The book defines marriage as the legally and socially sanctioned union of sexually intimate adults. Some of the social trends that are listed that relate to this TED Talk are the increased acceptance of cohabitation, transitions in gender roles, and increased voluntary childlessness.
This video talks about desire in a marriage, referring to a satisfaction in your long-term sex life with one partner. In the video, Esther says that people have two voids they need to fill, which is a need for security and a need for adventure. Struggling to find a happy medium between both, Esther said people will usually decide, "I will lose my freedom so I won't lose connection." The problem with this is that there "is no neediness in desire." Nowadays, people search and settle for one or the other, because they worry they'll ruin things if they keep seeking both. Another thing that skews the search is that people don't understand that love and desire are two different things. To love is to have, and to desire is to want. A perfect relationship would be a middle ground between love and desire, not just with your partner, but in every aspect of your life. For example, you need to be happy with your career, happy with your parenting, etc. So, ideally, your partner needs to provide you security in some places, adventure in others. Your partner needs to encourage you to take risks in your career and do what you want during the day. Your partner needs to provide security and support when work gets hard. Your partner needs to provide adventure in the bedroom, but provide security by being predictable in love-making. Cohabitation is a result of trying to find this kind of relationship. People are settling for just living with their partner without the legal commitment because commitment is a scary word to some now a days. People don't like feeling bound.
Two more points that Esther made support what the text says about transitions in gender roles and increased voluntary childlessness. Esther says, "Marriage used to be economical" and "Responsibility and desire butt heads." It used to be women's responsibility to stay at home, make children, take care of the children, clean the house, etc. Now, some women, men, and couples simply don't want children. It was also mentioned by Esther that parenting and children cause extra stress and conflict in marriages anyways, takes away some of the fun. Women want to work a dream career. Changing gender role have typically been viewed as a positive thing, but when everyone's views are changing at different rates, this can cause tension in marriages.
I really, really, really enjoyed this TED Talk. It gave me a lot of new outlook and Esther Perel just had a way with words. This new knowledge will be of good use down the road if I ever encounter marriage.
I'm glad you enjoyed it...when reading your reaction I could see that you were interested!
Deletehttp://www.ted.com/talks/jenna_mccarthy_what_you_don_t_know_about_marriage.html
ReplyDeleteI did not recall ever listening to a TED talk before this option as a bog post. I have to admit, they are good! I chose to listen to Jenna McCarthy's "What you don't know about marriage" talk. She discussed how scary it is to completely give yourself to another human being, knowing there is the chance that person will become poor or become deathly ill. Within all the hustle and bustle of a marriage, the key she suggested to having a successful marriage, after some research, is having more sex than the average couple. Sex keeps you intimate and happy with each other, especially spontaneous sex and not just planning sex during ovulation. Another piece of advice: don't win an Oscar. She used humor in her talk keeping her audience in tune. I really enjoyed her talk because whether or not we as college students want to admit it, we want to know as much as there is to know about marriage because marriage will (hopefully) become apart of our lives within the next 2-10 years. Listening to Jenna McCarthy make a humorous presentation discussing marriage was informative yet in a way to let us clueless people know that nobody knows what is going on. So in the main stream of things, in her views, have lots of sex to keep the relationship alive.
There have been several times where I've posted TED Talks as options on the blog and have showed them in class (recall the Talk about making stress your friend and lie spotting, for example!)
DeleteHopefully you have a chance to watch some more, there are definitely some great ones!
Mary Roach: 10 things you didn’t know about orgasm
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ted.com/talks/mary_roach_10_things_you_didn_t_know_about_orgasm.html
This article was really interesting. It goes into details about a few facts that I had no idea about. One of the first facts it talked about how there have now been pictures of in utero masturbation, which lead to the topic of how it is an automatic response more than a conscious choice. One of the other interesting facts was that under the right circumstances even brain dead people could achieve orgasm through the right kind of stimulation. It also went into many different theories that didn’t always make sense. Overall though it was a very interesting topic for someone to tackle.